Shearwater/Okkervil River's Jonathan Meiburg is disarmed by the POINTLESS QUESTIONS
You can choose to have one -- and only one -- super power. Other than gaining that power, you remain exactly the same as you are now. What super power would you pick, and why?
Jonathan Meiburg: I want to be able to talk to animals. Interviews will make field work take much less time.
What was your favorite day job, and why? If you hated them all, what was the best (meaning most interesting) way you ever quit a job?
Jonathan Meiburg: I still have my favorite day job, amazingly -- I work for a wonderful map distributor called Treaty Oak, which sells and distributes travel maps from all over the world. Need a map of the Titanic? Or a tango-themed map of Buenos Aires? Or a map of shipwrecks off of Isla de los Estados, Tierra del Fuego? Or of the moon? Or the definitive road atlas of Mexico? They've got it. And they have dachshunds.
We've all heard variations on the phrase "there are two kinds of people in the world... Those who (do or think something) and those who (do or think something else)". What are the two kinds of people in the world for you?
Jonathan Meiburg: People who hear birdsong as noise, and people who hear it as music. And people who hear it as a bunch of male birds telling all the other male birds to fuck off. Three kinds.
If money/ambition/significant others/et cetera were all non-issues, where would you choose to live and why?
Jonathan Meiburg: Northwest Georgia. The southern Appalachians, wild rivers, endless rainfall, tiger butterflies, red clay, hemlock trees.
Summarize your driving ability in 25 words or less.
Jonathan Meiburg: Competent when unanxious. Anxious pretty much all the time.
You've just entered a contest in which the prize is an MP3 player loaded with the complete, exhaustive recorded output of any artist you choose. You win. Who do you choose?
Jonathan Meiburg: Nina Simone.
What are you carrying on your person -- in your pockets, purse, et cetera -- right now?
Jonathan Meiburg: I am in Quito, Ecuador. I am carrying a small black daypack containing a National 407 field book, my passport, airline tickets, a pair of smartwool socks, Jonathan Franzen's novel The Corrections, a pair of small Pentax field binoculars, fifty dollars and 75 cents, my driver's license, a permit to conduct scientific research in the Galapagos, a spare pair of eyeglasses, seven ballpoint pens (red, blue, black), six rolls of 400 ASA color film, two rolls of black and white Tri-X, a cheap Pentax point-and-shoot 35mm camera, and a toothbrush.
You're on tour, you're in an unfamiliar city, you haven't eaten in 24 hours, and due to some poor financial decisions, you have only a single unit of the local currency -- one dollar, one pound, or thereabouts. What do you eat?
Jonathan Meiburg: Oats.
What was the last song you danced to? Who, if anyone, did you dance with?
Jonathan Meiburg: I only dance by myself, pretty much as a rule. But I do get down. The other night I did the indie rock blissed-out head-bob at a Baptist Generals show. And I swooned at a Joanna Newsom show. Does that count?
When did you last make a mountain out of a molehill?
Jonathan Meiburg: Yesterday. A friend was late in meeting me at the airport and I had concocted an elaborate scheme for his tragic death and believed in it by the time he arrived. I was only slightly annoyed that he showed up.
Post-Schwarzenegger, are there any high-profile people you'd like to see run for governor or other high office? Who and why?
Jonathan Meiburg: I heard an interview the other day with Christopher Walken that made him sound like a pretty level-headed fellow. Why not him?
Apart from cheeseburgers, what is the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast?
Jonathan Meiburg: Coffee, hand-pressed by Thor Harris.
Have you ever seen a ghost? Or a dead body? Tell us about it.
Jonathan Meiburg: I saw a guy pass out and die of a heart attack at a concert. A friend of mine attempted CPR. A few years earlier, I'm pretty sure I saw my dead grandfather setting a table at a cabin in the mountains.
Everyone can do at least a couple of decent imitations -- of celebrities, maybe, or associates, friends and family. Who can you "do"?
Jonathan Meiburg: Jackass Penguin, Spheniscus magellanicus. Also Gentoo Penguin, Pygoscelis papua, and Striated Caracara, Phalconboenus australis.
What was the last book you read and hated? Why did you hate it?
Jonathan Meiburg: The Painted Bird by Jerzy Kozinski. He seemed to be getting off on all the sexual sadism he has his imaginary villagers and soldiers commit while wanting you to revere him.
Who was your favourite teacher in high school? Why?
Jonathan Meiburg: Alanna Paterson, theater, LD Bell High School. She treated us like peers. Sometimes a little too much like peers, but I'd rather that than the opposite.
What is your favorite "comfort food" when you're on tour?
Jonathan Meiburg: A McDonald's hot fudge ice cream sundae, with the plastic package of peanuts. Since I'm aware of the fundamental evil of this, I restrict myself to eating them when my mood is absolutely dire and other tricks haven't worked. Also Valium.
Tell us about the least likely place you ever sent a CD/demo. Why did you send it? What happened?
Jonathan Meiburg: The Falkland Island Tourist Board. I have a dream of playing there and having the entire population turn out to see us. No luck so far, but a letter acknowledging receipt sent On Her Majesty's Service.
What essential item are you most likely to leave at home when you're heading out on tour? What do you do about it?
Jonathan Meiburg: Shampoo. Borrow from band members until good will and morale erode. Repeat.
Aliens have just landed, and you get to select the earth's goodwill ambassador. Who do you pick, and why?
Jonathan Meiburg: A tag team of EO Wilson and Mark Hollis. I think they could make a pretty spirited, if realistic, defense of the human race. Wilson does the talking, Hollis provides the soundtrack.
You wake up one morning and discover that you have dolphin telepathy. What do you do with it?
Jonathan Meiburg: I just want to know where they've hidden the good stuff. Also, how's the sex?
You've just been hit in the face with a large chocolate cream pie. How do you react?
Jonathan Meiburg: Is it a good pie? I think my reaction depends on that.
Assuming that you must choose one, which would you rather listen to for an hour: Christian rock, mainstream country or Jessica Simpson?
Jonathan Meiburg: Christian rock, all the way. Religion, as my friend Tom Banjo once said, is just kind of creepy.
What's the deal with those damn raccoons?
Jonathan Meiburg: They have hands. They're smart. They will be here after we're gone.
Where do you think Osama Bin Laden is hiding and what would it take to get him to come out?
Jonathan Meiburg: I think Osama is mostly hiding in our collective imagination, and there's no way to blast him out of there.
You're sitting in a pub when an errant dart from the games area strikes you in the leg. With the dart pointing out of your body, do you pull it out, shout for help or attack the jackass who hit you?
Jonathan Meiburg: Attack, full on. If the dart's poisoned, I might not have much time for revenge!
What would you consider to be the worst fate imaginable for your music, and which contemporary artist would you most wish this terrible end upon?
Jonathan Meiburg: Mediocre (but not hostile) reviews and poor sales. Oh, wait, that is what's happened to my music! I'm kidding, mostly.
What is sexy?
Jonathan Meiburg: Secretarybirds. Caracaras. Keas. Blueberry pancakes. Cheerful obsession. Gracefulness of mind and speech. Wrist tattoos. Mountaintops hidden in clouds.
What is the strangest thing you've ever had for breakfast?
Jonathan Meiburg: The skin of a beluga whale, dipped in soy sauce.
Which non-music related product (i.e. -- no instruments, microphones, etc.) would you most like to be a celebrity spokesperson for?
Jonathan Meiburg: National 407 Field Books. They're waterproof, sturdy, and have a friendly yellow cover that makes them hard to lose. There's something sort of reassuring about having one in your pack and jotting notes, sketches, phone numbers, etc. in it every day. Makes me feel like I'm always "on assignment". And they come with a formula for calculating the probable error of a single observation!
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Shearwater's Winged Life, their third, is now available on Misra Records, and has been for about six months. We didn't get one for review. We're still a little hurt about that.
-- George Zahora
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